Author: system

Being a parent can be stressful; it’s important to manage anxiety promptly

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Source: Psychiatrist Dr. Wong Chun Yin

As parents, we have to juggle work and family responsibilities. Under significant stress, it’s easy to experience anxiety. Anxiety is a natural, built-in response, and it can protect us when our lives are threatened. However, excessive worry can lead to physical discomforts like a racing heart, stomachaches, muscle tension, rapid breathing, headaches, trembling hands, sweating, or frequent urination. If not addressed in a timely manner, it can lead to more serious emotional issues and can also affect family relationships.

Here are three ways to reduce anxiety symptoms. First is practicing relaxation through deep breathing, using diaphragmatic breathing. Inhale slowly through your nose for a count of 4, letting your abdomen rise for 2 seconds, then exhale slowly through your mouth for a count of 4. Pause for 2 seconds and repeat this process 5 to 10 times.

The second method is muscle relaxation exercises. Find a comfortable place to sit or lie down, gently close your eyes, and relax all your muscles. Start by shifting your focus to your feet, tense the muscles in your feet for 10 seconds, and then release. Proceed sequentially, tensing and relaxing the muscles in your legs, arms, neck, and facial muscles.

Lastly, there is imagery relaxation practice. In a quiet place, close your eyes and imagine a comfortable setting, visualizing what you see, hear, smell, and feel for 5 to 10 minutes. Gradually return to the present reality.

Additionally, it’s important to cultivate a positive thinking pattern in your daily life. Try to see the bright side of things at all times rather than dwelling on unhappy thoughts constantly, which can reduce the chances of developing mood disorders.

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How to cultivate a child’s manners? Respect and attention are essential

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Written by: Education expert, Principal Cheung Wai jing

At a talent recruitment event for a large multinational company, both Siu Cheung and Siu Choi successfully passed the initial and follow-up interviews. They stood out from over 100 competitors. Whether it was written tests or communication skills, both were equally impressive, leaving the human resources department’s evaluators in a dilemma, as the company would only hire one person.

In the end, the company manager decided to personally interview both candidates. Surprisingly, after just a few minutes, the manager chose to hire Siu Cheung. When asked for the reason, the manager candidly stated, “The reason is simple. When I was speaking to them, Siu Cheung maintained eye contact with me the whole time, while Siu Choi was looking around, indicating that he wasn’t good at actively listening to others. Being adept at listening and respecting clients is a crucial requirement for a sales supervisor.”

Expressing Sincerity and Respect through Eye Contact

This example illustrates a straightforward lesson: eyes are the windows to the soul, and people use their gaze to convey a range of emotions such as respect, attention, disdain, and indifference. Therefore, maintaining consistent eye contact during conversations signifies your sincerity. Moreover, those who can attentively focus on others’ words without shifting their gaze will naturally earn gratitude and respect from others.

Schools often organize activities centered around the theme of “politeness” to encourage students to be courteous to others. “Others” includes not only family members, elders, teachers, and fellow students but also unfamiliar people. Children should learn early on about polite phrases like “good morning” and “thank you,” but many still don’t proactively greet others, let alone observe other daily life etiquette. Schools focus on teaching students how to behave politely when interacting with teachers and peers in the school setting; the rest relies on family education.

The example of “job hunting” mentioned above might not be applicable to elementary school students for the time being, but they also frequently have opportunities for interviews. If they want to leave a good impression on others, children must learn to use their eyes to show their attention and respect when conversing with others. Therefore, parents need to teach children the skills and art of listening. Of course, when parents listen to their children, they should also give them appropriate respect and attention. This way, children will learn that politeness in interpersonal interactions knows no age or status boundaries. Here are three listening tips:

1.When listening to someone, avoid looking around and instead focus on the person’s eyes.

2. When you understand or share the same sentiment, use your eyes to communicate and show agreement.

3.Gazing at someone doesn’t mean staring fixedly at them; doing so can actually come across as impolite.

In literature, characters are often described as having “eyes that speak.” In reality, everyone has eyes like that; as long as we utilize them well, they can be more persuasive than the words we speak.

Parental Relationships and Child’s Physical and Mental Health

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Written by: Marriage and Family Therapist, Child Play Therapist, Lee Wai Zi

Whenever a child is born, it brings about changes to the family. Many times, parents, caught up in taking care of and disciplining their children, can easily overlook the quality of their own marital life. Over time, marital life becomes reduced to a pile of responsibilities and pressures. I once heard a friend say that when he comes home from work every day, it’s like an assembly line of checking his children’s homework, supervising their studies, while his wife takes care of their meals and routines. By the time the two of them can rest, it’s often late at night. Even if there’s still energy left to exchange a few words with his wife, the topic tends to revolve around their children’s academic performance and achievements. Sometimes, there isn’t even enough time left for their own rest, let alone considering their spouse’s needs.

Many couples facing difficulties in their marriage tend to attribute the problems in their relationship to the birth of their children. Generally, people believe that this is due to differing expectations and parenting methods between parents, or unequal distribution of roles and responsibilities in raising children, leading to conflicts in the relationship. However, the vast majority of couples express that they don’t necessarily need their partner to agree with their thoughts or actions. The key issue is that when they face the stress of parenting and various life pressures, they often don’t feel valued, supported, and accepted by their spouse. This leads both sides into a state of loneliness and helplessness, gradually eroding trust and emotional connection.

Differing educational philosophies and methods between spouses are ordinary and natural. However, during the process of parenting, parents are prone to repetitively using ineffective and destructive methods to deal with their differences, inadvertently creating a negative cycle of interaction within the relationship. For example, a wife might complain in front of her husband that the child doesn’t listen, and might even reproach her husband for not helping to share the responsibilities of household chores and parenting. The wife’s expression of dissatisfaction is aimed at making the husband understand her concerns and troubles, and hoping to receive his support and

comfort.However, husbands often only receive criticism and blame from their wives. In order to protect themselves from getting hurt, they might remain silent or explain and defend themselves repeatedly, hoping for understanding and acceptance from their wives. The more husbands explain, the less valued and understood their wives might feel, leading to more accusations. And the more wives accuse, the more helpless husbands might feel, causing them to further evade and defend. Both spouses are participants in this negative cycle of interaction and victims of this cycle as well. If parents don’t promptly address and resolve the deadlock in their relationship, not only will the problems persist and worsen, but it could also ultimately impact their children.

The well-being of the family and the children relies on a strong emotional connection between the spouses. Therefore, for the sake of themselves and their children, it’s worth spending more time nurturing the love between partners. As long as the marital relationship is harmonious, children can naturally grow up healthy and happy.

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Parents Zone

Children are two different beings at home and school？

Kids tired and running near upset mother sitting at couch. Frustrating mom stressful feels heaviness and headache at home. Fatigue parent doesn't want to play with son and daughter
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Written by: Dr. Szeto Wing Fu, Chairman of the Hong Kong Institute of Family Education 

A teacher asked me, “Many parents seek my advice on education and disciplining their children. As a new teacher with limited life experience, I often feel inadequate in dealing with complex education policies and child-rearing issues. What should I do?”

Every semester, the school arranges one or two opportunities for parents to meet with teachers and discuss their children’s performance at school. As a father, I always strive to attend these meetings together with my wife. After each brief gathering, our son would eagerly ask and want to know what we discussed with the teacher about him. Recently, the teacher mentioned that our son is relatively quiet at school, not very proactive, and often takes on the role of an “observer.” My wife couldn’t wait to say that he is completely different at home, very active and full of “many opinions.” The teacher’s reaction was not surprised but rather smiled continuously, seemingly very accepting of the fact that children can present different sides at home and at school.

My wife naturally looked at the teacher with expectant eyes, hoping to get some guidance on how to make our child more proactive in the learning environment. Fortunately, I spoke a few “fair” words, recalling how our son was fearful and often a “lone ranger” when he first started school last year. Over the past year, our evening prayers with our son have always included a request to our Heavenly Father to make him braver, and this year he has made much progress. On the way home, I also reminded my wife that there are no standard answers or miraculous remedies for many things, and the teacher, being younger than us and not yet a parent, still has experience in dealing with different children. Therefore, it is most important for parents and teachers to communicate more on the children’s journey of growth.

Embracing Our True Selves

Recently, a parent asked me: “My child is very well-behaved at school, a courteous and exemplary student, but at home, he often throws tantrums. Why does he have such different behaviors in front of others and at home? How should I handle this?”

During the first semester of my son’s primary one, there were two consecutive weeks of “inexplicable” incidents, such as his beloved “Sergeant” watch going missing, books found in the trash bin, exercise books doodled and torn. My wife and I were both baffled and still wanted to unravel the mystery in our hearts: who could be behind these incidents?

On Monday morning, my wife went to the school to discuss the incident with the teacher. However, just before leaving, I firmly told my wife, “No matter the doodles, tears, or books being treated as garbage, I am certain that our son didn’t do any of these.” She asked, “Why are you so sure?” My answer was, “Because he is my son, and I have been with him as he grew up. I know his temperament like the back of my hand.” Eventually, it was found that his neighboring classmate was responsible for those actions. Since that day, I noticed a “subtle” change in our child’s behavior between school and home – at school, he seemed to have learned that it is a community: crossing certain boundaries with books would upset classmates, and the teachers were like referees, and to “survive” he had to understand the “rules of the game.” But when he came home after school, he would immediately embrace his true self, because at home, he had his dad and mom, who understood him the most.

In fact, isn’t it true that in the adult world, we also have a different self during the day and at night?

Setting boundaries is better than trying to prevent children from making mistakes

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Written by: Peggy Ho Pui Yee, Founder and Volunteer Executive Director of Good Love Passion

Being overly critical is the most common mistake parents make in disciplining their children. The phrase “love deeply, scold severely” reflects the emotions of most parents. Parents often fear that their children will develop any undesirable behavior during their growth, which may have lifelong consequences. Therefore, when disciplining their children, parents often resort to meticulous criticism as a way to remind them. In reality, making mistakes is an essential part of a child’s growth process. As children constantly change and grow, parents need to adapt to their developmental needs and adjust their approach to dealing with their behavior, even changing the way they interact with them.

For example, when a child fails to complete their homework on time, parents should calmly handle this common occurrence, as it is an opportunity for the child to improve and grow. Similarly, when a child talks back, it may indicate their emerging independence and critical thinking skills. It doesn’t necessarily mean they lack respect for their parents. As children grow older, they develop their own thoughts, opinions, and perspectives on various aspects of life. They also desire parental acknowledgment. As parents, we may not agree with these behaviors, but even in disagreement, we can understand the underlying needs of our children. This allows us to communicate more effectively with them and utilize appropriate disciplinary methods.

“While knowledge can change destiny, attitude determines everything!” Explosive anger and harsh accusations from parents are ineffective in discipline and serve no purpose. When parents understand how to gently and firmly assist their children and incorporate respect into daily life, children will develop a better understanding of rules and boundaries. Consequently, they will exercise more self-control and establish their own standards for behavior. With these standards in place, they will naturally become more independent, responsible individuals. Therefore, parents should establish boundaries in their children’s daily lives during their early childhood stages.

Since the age of one and a half, my daughter understood that writing is done on paper. Therefore, even at the age of 3, she has never stuck a sticker on the pristine walls of our home. She knows her boundaries and understands that a responsible child should keep the house clean. It is her responsibility. Parents establish guidelines for children to follow before discussing whether they are obedient or not.

When setting boundaries for younger children, it is important to be clear and specific. For example, you can say to a toddler, “If you can’t do it, it means you’re not behaving.” However, for young children, the term “not behaving” is vague and difficult for them to grasp. In addition, when setting boundaries, it is necessary to establish the consequences of not complying. It is important to emphasize that these consequences are “results” and not “punishments.” Consequences are simply the natural outcome of an agreement between both parties, operating under natural laws, and they are distinct from punishments. For example, after playing, if a child is expected to clean up their toys, they can continue playing next time only if they tidy up. However, if they don’t clean up, according to the previous agreement, their toys will be confiscated for two or three days.

At this point, parents must make it clear to the child that this is the natural consequence of not fulfilling the agreement, not a punishment. Another example is when parents discuss with their child the time limit for watching TV or using electronic devices and set specific time boundaries. Similarly, if the child exceeds the designated time and doesn’t turn off the device, according to the previous agreement, they won’t be allowed to watch or use it for the next three days. When setting boundaries, parents need to ensure they are reasonable. Otherwise, it would be unfair to the child, making them more likely to cross the boundaries and become disobedient in the future.

While parents have the responsibility to teach children proper behavior, if the methods used are too impatient and harsh, lacking an understanding of the child’s growth process, it may lead to negative effects. Therefore, we should provide children with experiences of taking initiative to change for the better, engage in serious discussions, rather than resorting to severe punishments. Approaching the situation with a calm and composed demeanor can assist children in transforming their mistakes into opportunities for growth. Just like how children inevitably fall while learning to walk, we encourage them to pick themselves up and take another step forward.

When faced with a child’s misconduct, it is important to consider how to handle the situation in a way that fosters their ability to change. People generally do not intentionally make mistakes; the reason for making mistakes is often due to a lack of awareness. Making mistakes is not inherently frightening for children; what is truly concerning is making mistakes without understanding where they went wrong or how to correct them. If parents can approach their child’s mistakes with the right mindset and guide them towards making corrections using appropriate methods, these mistakes can become opportunities for reflection and progress. It also enhances the chance for communication between parents and children. Let us transform our children’s mistakes into beautiful errors.

How can parents solve the situation when children frequently throw tantrums？

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Source: Senior Parenting Education Expert, Bally

It is easy to see whether parents are competent based on how they handle a child’s tantrums. If a child is yelling and screaming, can parents quickly calm the child’s emotions? Some competent parents simply crouch down, make eye contact, and hold their child tightly while gently asking, “Why are you crying? Don’t throw tantrums.”

Our first priority is to help the child regain control of their emotions. If they can’t control their emotions, they won’t be able to hear anything. We shouldn’t try to teach or scold them when their emotions are high because they often won’t listen. If a child throws a tantrum and we can’t control our own emotions, raising our voice and scolding them louder will only make them escalate further. Therefore, we must be able to teach children to control their emotions.

Sometimes we see children in supermarkets throwing tantrums, shouting, crying, and even rolling on the floor. When this happens, the child is already challenging the boundaries set by adults. If at that moment, we are afraid of embarrassment or concerned about how others will perceive us, and we try to compromise just to calm things down, then we are teaching the child to reach such a level in the future. We might say, “If you scream and roll on the floor, I will buy it for you, but if you don’t, I won’t.” Therefore, we must lead by example when teaching children and not worry about how others perceive us.

What would be a more appropriate approach to handling the situation? Parents should set aside everything and crouch down to talk to the child, saying, “Mom just told you earlier that we won’t be buying anything. Do you remember? If you really want to throw a tantrum, Mom won’t buy anything at all. Let go of everything, and let’s go home.” Because we need to persist consistently, the child will understand that they cannot challenge their parents, and they won’t escalate their behavior.

Many times, parents are not aware of their own language expression, and they may unintentionally encourage children to cry. In reality, if we frequently say, “Don’t!” the child will only hear that word. For example, if we say, “Don’t cry anymore,” the child will only hear the word “cry.” So what should we ask them to do instead? “You should calm down, wipe away your tears, and be calm before I talk to you.” If we stand upright, speaking loudly, and say, “If you dare to cry again, just wait and see what I will do…”, the child’s anger will only intensify. Therefore, we need to pay attention to our words and actions and encourage them in a positive manner.

When faced with problems such as a child throwing tantrums, refusing to do homework, or not wanting to eat, we often get stuck in that particular issue. How can we make the child finish quickly so that we can move on to another activity? We need to think of the next “reward” for them. For example, if the child dislikes doing homework, we can say, “How about this? If we finish within 15 minutes, we can read a book together, watch cartoons, play with building blocks, or play with toys.” These are things that children enjoy and look forward to, so we should keep emphasizing and magnifying these activities.

We need to show them the future consequences that are directly linked to their current behavior. If the child cries or throws tantrums at home during the process, parents often place them in a “Quiet Corner” where they can calm their emotions. This can be done in their familiar and safe room or on their bed, allowing them to gradually stop crying.

If competent parents have enough ability to make the child reflect and express themselves, they could say, “Mommy is really sorry. I feel like I was wrong earlier.” Assigning roles can make it easier, for example, when the mother is doing homework with the child and the child starts throwing tantrums and refusing to do it. The mother can say, “Go to your room now, sit on your own bed, and think about what you did wrong.”

Then the father or another person can enter the room and tell the child, “Do you know that you made Mommy very unhappy just now? Do you know that she will be very angry?” We share our adult world, thoughts, and feelings with the child, helping them understand and willingly say, “I really made a mistake. I was really wrong. I’m sorry, Mommy.”

 

The expenses of having children are particularly high. How can parents manage their finances effectively for themselves?

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Source: Founder of Piggy Gaga Financial Education, Sang Chan.

Raising children is often described as “bit pricey,” meaning that expenses increase significantly. As parents, how can we manage our finances effectively? Many parents believe that their income level determines their quality of life. While income is certainly related to quality of life, there is something even more important. If every family handles it well, their quality of life can still be greatly improved, and that is how they manage their income.

Each parent can use a simple financial concept, known as the financial pyramid, to allocate their monthly income. The underlying principle of this financial pyramid explains how to divide and allocate every dollar earned to the appropriate areas, maximizing the value of each dollar. By following the construction and operation of this financial pyramid, the financial situation of every family can become increasingly healthy.

At the base of the pyramid, the first step is to allocate around 5% of the income to Mandatory Provident Fund (MPF). After setting aside funds for MPF, the next level is to allocate for our basic needs. Basic needs refer to our necessities such as clothing, food, housing, and transportation. As parents, this also includes the daily supplies for our children, such as formula milk and diapers. It may even include their educational expenses as they grow older.

Approximately 50% of the total income should be allocated to cover basic needs, which is a reasonable level. After managing basic needs, we then have to consider taxes. The amount of taxes varies for each individual. In Hong Kong, approximately 5% of the income is usually manageable for taxes.

After allocating for these three levels, how can we manage the remaining money to gradually improve our quality of life? The first part is allocating around 10% of our income to liquid cash. Another 10% can be allocated to asset protection, where the most important asset is ensuring our own and our family’s well-being

After arranging these two 10% allocations, we have approximately 20% of the income remaining. This 20% can be allocated to asset appreciation, allowing us to achieve some important life goals. Sometimes, parents may ask, “Do we need to be very wealthy as a family to engage in financial management? Can we manage our finances even if our income is just enough?”

High-income families are like large houses, and they may have more things to take care of. They might have a storage room where all the miscellaneous items can be stored and the door closed. The whole house will then become tidy, and the overall management will be much simpler.

But if our house is not that big, metaphorically representing our income, we can imagine a small house. If we take good care of it, it can still lead to a better quality of life. If our income is more abundant, of course, there will be more room for financial management. However, if our income is just enough, it becomes even more important to manage it well.

 

How do you resolve sibling conflicts peacefully?

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Source: Family Dynamics, Individual, Marriage, and Family Therapist Kwong Wing Han

When there are two or more children in a household, conflicts and disagreements are normal. Parents may feel troubled, wondering how to make their children get along peacefully. Here are some tips.

Firstly, parents should try their best to create a warm and happy family atmosphere, emphasizing the concept of sharing. Secondly, we should regulate the behavior of children according to their age. Children under the age of 2 do not understand what they can and cannot do. Many times, they may behave in a way that upsets their older siblings. At this time, we need to comfort the older child and make him understand that his younger sibling cannot do it because of their limited abilities and lack of understanding. When they reach the age of understanding and obeying rules, parents will ask them to follow the rules just like their older siblings, so that the older child understands that the parents are not favoring their younger siblings.

In traditional thinking, older children should show consideration and make concessions to younger children. However, in fact, we should decide based on the child’s age and their ability to receive and understand things, not necessarily based on age. The so-called consideration and concession should be understood as empathy and understanding their needs.

If the younger sister wants to play with the older sister’s toy, mom can say to the older sister, “I know this toy is yours, and you treasure and love it, so you don’t want to let your sister play with it. But your sister doesn’t have this toy; she is younger than you, and she is happy to see you play with it and wants to try it too.” If the older sister agrees to let her sister play with it, it means she understands and empathizes with her sister’s needs. We can also say to the younger sister, “Because your sister loves you very much, she is willing to let you play with the toy,” and let her express gratitude to her sister.

However, children may not always be willing to share their toys. When they refuse to share, we should teach them to respect each other. On the basis of mutual respect, everyone can discuss and communicate together, and the child can decide who to share with. In addition, we should establish the principle of sharing. The older sister can share toys with the younger sister, and the younger sister also has the ability to share toys with the older sister. By sharing with each other according to a fair principle, the relationship between them will be more harmonious.

When sisters have conflicts, parents should remain neutral and not intervene. However, we often feel anxious and want to solve the problem for them. But the focus should be on accompanying them to solve their conflicts. We should give them the opportunity to express themselves, let them know that we understand their feelings, and allow them to handle the situation on their own.

Also, don’t overly emphasize on fairness because there is often no absolute fairness. If they both want to be hugged by mom, mom can say, “Mommy knows you both want to be hugged by mommy and feel comfortable this way. But mommy only has one pair of arms and can’t hold you both at the same time. Let’s think of ways to let both of you be hugged by mommy.”

We should let children know that having conflicts is not a problem, and having conflicts does not mean they don’t love each other. The most important thing is to learn how to solve problems. Their problem-solving experiences will be unforgettable lessons for them as they grow up, and will not damage their relationship.

How can parents help young children adapt to primary school life both psychologically and physically?

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Source:  Professor Chiu Wing Kai, Chair Professor of Sociology at the Education University of Hong Kong.

It’s already been 3 months into 2023 and summer vacation will be coming soon, followed by the start of the new school year in September. For K3 students to start their primary school life. However, these students have spent most of their 3-year kindergarten education in online classes due to the pandemic, with little face-to-face interaction. How can parents help them adapt to their new academic and social life in terms of their psychological and physical well-being

Students who are promoted to Primary 1 are at most at K2 level because they have not returned to school for at least one full year. There are many things they need to adapt to when transitioning from kindergarten to primary school. These include school schedules, daily routines, and learning styles that are vastly different from what they are used to. Kindergarten classes typically last for around 20 minutes, after which they move on to another subject, but in primary school, classes can be 35 minutes or longer, making it difficult for them to maintain their focus. All of these issues can create significant adaptation problems for young students.

So how can parents explain these changes to their children? Firstly, parents should not be too anxious, as many primary schools offer simulation courses and adaptation weeks for new students, as well as school visits. Primary schools are usually much larger than kindergartens, and young students may be excited about the various facilities and opportunities available to them. However, it is best to start talking to them once they begin school, as too much information too soon may be overwhelming. Simply telling them, “Yes, this is what school is like” is often enough.

Additionally, some things that young students may not be capable of now do not mean they cannot accomplish them, they just need time to grow and develop. Parents need to remember that every child has a different growth rate. After starting school, observe their emotional changes when they return home from school, and if you notice any issues, pay close attention to them

It takes time for young children to adapt, but sometimes parents also need to adapt. In kindergarten, we refer to it as the Homeroom(regular class location), where one teacher leads the class, and children usually only see one or two teachers. If parents need to participate or collaborate with the school, they can simply find that teacher. In primary school, each subject has different teachers, so if any issues arise, parents need to consider how to communicate with each teacher.

 

Why do children have a perfectionist personality?

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Source : Psychiatrist, Dr. Hui Long Kit

 Perfectionistic children may have autism spectrum disorder or obsessive-compulsive disorder. In fact, perfectionism often stems from a child’s own high demands on themselves to do everything perfectly. When they cannot achieve perfection, they often blame themselves. For some children, when they score 99 out of 100 on an exam, they may cry endlessly at home because they are so worried about the one point they missed.

 However, sometimes perfectionistic thinking does not come from the child, but rather from the parents. For example, if a child scores 99 out of 100, have you as a parent ever asked them, “Why didn’t you get 100 points?” If you say this, you are actually adding some perfectionistic elements to the child’s thinking. Children’s psychology is easily influenced by adults. If adults demand perfection in everything, children often internalize this pressure and turn it into self-demands. As a result, they may feel anxious when they cannot do what they want to do.

 What are the consequences of anxiety? Anxiety can lead to chronic insomnia, extreme nervousness, frequent visits to the restroom, skin picking, rapid heartbeat, sweaty palms, trembling hands, and even a fear of going to school. Children may think, “What should I do? I missed one point. I threw away the notice. The teacher will scold me tomorrow. I don’t want to go to school.” These are common situations for perfectionistic children, not just those with anxiety disorders. Many children may also develop depression.

Because they are unable to meet the demands of parents or teachers for a long time, they often cry, feel unhappy, and may even have suicidal thoughts. So how should parents deal with children who have perfectionism?

First, you need to be aware of the problem. Don’t assume that a child who is diligent and looks like a good student has no problems. The more obedient the student, the more careful you need to be to see if their demands on themselves are too high.

Second, parents should be aware of themselves. Are you perfect? Did you do everything perfectly when you were young? Do you do everything well every day? Do you do everything perfectly at work? Has your boss ever criticized you for not doing a good job? If you can’t even achieve perfection yourself, why do you expect your child to do so?

Third, you should pay attention to whether a child with perfectionism has symptoms of anxiety and depression. If, as stated above ,the child has trouble sleeping, shakes, has a fast heartbeat, sweats, picks at their skin, goes to the bathroom frequently, or has negative thoughts or even suicidal ideas, then you must take them to see a doctor. If anxiety and depression worsen, the consequences can be very seriou.